Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sadness and Loss

I'm an emotional wreck.

Seriously, I'm a mess.

All I can say is that it began with joy, love and celebration.

Could I be dreaming? Am I really expecting once again? Could this be true after so many years of trying? If so, it's a miracle!

A home pregnancy test confirmed positive. Mr. O and the boys were excited to hear the good news, and J.P said he'd be the best big brother in the whole world.

And for six weeks, we basked in the happiness and excitement.

Then the unthinkable happened.

No!

I was spotting for more than three days; each day I was praying and hoping that everything would be fine.

But last Monday, all my hopes and dreams were shattered.

Honestly, I never knew I'd feel this way, I'm stunned.

And my heart aches.

8 comments:

  1. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I wish there were words that I could share to comfort you during this difficult time. May you lean hard on your family, your faith, and your friends. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Warmly,
    Cindy

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss! My prayers are with you.

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  3. My dear friend, I am sorry for the loss. There is a special reason why it happened. I have not been a mother yet, but I could feel your pain and despair. Please know that we are here for you, ready to share our thoughts. I do hope by way of posting the story in your blog. It could somehow ease the pain. You TC ... always.~♥

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain and anguish that come from a miscarriage. I will lift you up in prayer!

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope the pain will subside soon.

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  6. Really sorry to hear this and I think blogging will heal your wounds gradually and may god bless you.

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  7. I have been where you are - and my heart grieves with you. One of the things that made the biggest difference in my heart recovery was realizing that though I did not get to hold 2 of my children in my arms, I will get to wrap my arms around them when I go to heaven! I think I would grieve daily if I did not have that hope. As David said, "I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me" - 2 Sam 12:23

    I pray that God gives you peaceful sleep and restful dreams as your heart heals from your loss!

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